Infertility in the Bible
Infertility is a hard struggle for anyone. As a Christian, the pain of infertility can be exacerbated by feeling like you are being punished by God by your infertility.
So many Church programs and activities are focused on children and families. You are taught that children are a blessing and that they should always be accepted with joy. Where I grew up, large families were common, and children were celebrated.
So what does it mean when a blessing is withheld from you? It’s hard not to view that as some sort of punishment. It’s easy to wonder what you did wrong that this blessing should be withheld from you.
Yes, the Bible does say that children are a blessing from the Lord:
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127: 3-5
But the Bible also makes it clear that infertility is not due to punishment, or that a woman is at fault for being infertile.
Infertility is a recurring theme in the Bible. In each of the most memorable stories of infertility, it is clearly used to show how God is in control, and how he brings about his plan even in the most improbable situations.
Sarah and Abraham
The first mention of infertility in the Bible is in reference to Abraham’s wife, Sarah. God promises Abraham that he will be the father of a mighty nation. But, there is a problem. Abraham is childless. Nevertheless, God insists Abraham will be the father of a mighty nation, and Abraham believes him.
And Abram said, “Behold you have given me no offspring, and a member of my household will be my heir.” And behold, the word of the Lord came to him: “This man shall not be your heir; your very own son shall be your heir.”
Genesis 15:3-4
Years go by and yet still no baby comes. God determines it is time to revisit Abraham with a renewal of his promise that Abraham’s wife Sarah will be the mother to his son and heir.
Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed and said to himself, “Shall a child be born to a man who is a hundred years old? Shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?
Genesis 17:17
Abraham believed God the first time he made this promise, but the second time he is so doubtful he laughs. One can only imagine the years of disappointment that both Abraham and Sarah had gone through by this time.
The Lord visited Abraham again, and this time Sarah had the same visceral reaction Abraham had:
Now Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in years. The way of women had ceased to be with Sarah. So Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “After I am worn out, and my lord is old, shall I have pleasure?”
Genesis 18:11-12
But finally, the Lord’s promise is fulfilled, and it is made quite clear this is the Lord’s doing, not man’s:
The Lord visited Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did to Sarah as he had promised. And Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age at the time of which God had spoken to him. … Abraham was a hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him. And Sarah said, “God has made laughter for me; everyone who hears will laugh over me. And she said, “Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? Yet I have borne him a son in his hold age.”
Genesis 21:1-2, 5-7
The name Isaac means: “one who laughs” — a fitting name to represent the reaction of both Abraham and Sarah when they heard the news that they would be expecting.
Rebekah and Isaac
Isaac, himself a child of infertility, experiences infertility himself with his wife Rebecca. The Bible says:
And Isaac prayed to the Lord for his wife, because she was barren. And the Lord granted his prayer, and Rebekah his wife conceived.
Genesis 25:21
Rebekah experiences a phenomenon common to infertile women, and that is when she finally gets pregnant it is not one but two children in her womb. Twins: Jacob and Esau.
Rachel and Jacob
The tradition continues with Isaac’s son, Jacob. Jacob’s preferred wife Rachel is infertile. Rachel experienced many familiar emotions of infertility including jealousy and anger:
When Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, she envied her sister. She said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I shall die!”
Genesis 30:1
Leah was Rachel’s sister, and also Jacob’s wife. Jacob had made it clear that he preferred Rachel, and yet Leah was the fertile one, giving birth to six sons and one daughter. Leah believes she will win her husband’s favor through her many children, but he still prefers Rachel.
The entire story is heartbreaking from a female perspective. I can’t even imagine having to share my husband with my sister. Leah had seven children, yet still knew she was not the favored wife. Rachel had Jacob’s affection, but had to watch her sister have many children while she deeply desired a child and could not have one.
Then, finally, God responds.
Then God remembered Rachel, and God listened to her and opened her womb.
Genesis 30:22
Why would the author of Genesis use the phrase “God remembered”? It is a strange phrase to use because the Bible teaches God is omnipotent and omnipresent (all-knowing and present everywhere). If that’s true, it doesn’t make sense that God would forget anything.
Perhaps the writer is using words that make sense to our human emotions, describing God taking action after a long period of seeming inactivity.
We know it isn’t God who forgets after all, but it is us. We forget all that he has done for us. We forget all that he has promised to us.
Sometimes we have waited for something so long that we stop praying about it, because it’s just too painful to keep asking God for something over and over again and only hearing No as the answer over and over again.
This may also have been true of the next example of infertility in the Bible, Hannah.
Hannah and Elkanah
Hannah was facing the awful plight of infertility in Biblical times, a time where many judged a woman harshly for infertility, thinking it was a judgment from God. Like Rachel, she shared her husband with another wife who was fertile and had to watch her successfully have children. Although she was the favored wife, this still must have hurt.
The Bible makes it clear that Hannah was a righteous woman, who was loved by her husband and spent much of her time in prayer and worship.
After an especially urgent time of prayer, the priest Eli accuses her of being drunk. When she explains to him that she is praying in distress the priest asks that the Lord grant her request.
And then we get that strange phrase again, about God “remembering”.
And the Lord remembered her. And in due time Hannah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Samuel, for she said, “I have asked of him from the Lord”.
1 Samuel 1:19b-20
Again, we know it is God who does not really forget anything, but we feel that he has forgotten us, in the depth of our distress.
Elizabeth and Zachariah
The stories of infertility continue in the New Testament with Elizabeth and Zachariah.
Zachariah was a well-respected priest and he and his wife had no children.
The name Zacharias means “the Lord remembers”, which harkens back to the way God has responded throughout history to other infertile couples.
Consider that the last time God spoke directly to his people, according to the Bible, was 400 years previously through the prophet Malachi. Of all the people God could come to, he chose to visit an old, childless couple to tell them they will be expecting their first child, after years of infertility.
We know this infertile couple was not being cursed for unfaithfulness or unrighteousness, for the Bible tells us they were both righteous before God:
And they were both righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord. But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and both were advanced in years.
Luke 1:6-7
Zachariah was troubled when visited by the angel, yet…
But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John. And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth.
Luke 1:13-14
God is In Control
I encourage you to go read these stories in full. I especially find the story of Rachel and Leah interesting, as the Bible quotes them directly and you can see the emotional development of the two women throughout their life.
We live in different times today than in the Bible, and you can also see the tremendous pressure women were under in that time to produce children. It was also common at that time for women to share their husband with other wives, adding an extra level of competition to child-bearing that must have been excruciatingly difficult.
Thankfully, in modern times, in most communities, women today have a lot more options and are not viewed solely in their ability to bring forth children. Women don’t have to share their spouse with other wives or concubines, and they have many options to grow their families.
That being said, you may still feel tremendous pressure to have children, or a deep desire to have children. This is a normal feeling. Please be reminded that even in the Bible, even though it has been misinterpreted or misapplied through the years, it is made clear that women who face infertility are not being cursed or punished by God.
Both Rachel and Leah show some incorrect thinking in their struggles. Jacob tells Rachel she is being judged by God, and Leah believes she can earn her husband’s love through her many children. Neither of those things was proven to be true.
What does become clear after reading these many stories of infertility, is that God is the one ultimately in control. God will always keep his promises against all odds. God can make plants grow in the desert, and he can make babies grow in barren wombs.
There is more meaning to be drawn from these stories though. We don’t often get to hear directly from women in the Bible, as they were not often in positions of leadership. Yet, in these stories we often have direct quotes from women, showing their deep emotions around their infertility, their faith in God, and their love for their families. It offers a great glimpse into the female perspective during the time the Bible was written and shows how God can understand and sympathize with the depth of human emotion.
God Does Not Forget
It feels to our human perspective that God does forget us sometimes.
Sometimes we have waited for something so long that we stop praying about it because it’s just too painful to keep asking God for something over and over again and only hearing “No” as the answer over and over again.
I believe that may have been the case for many of these men and women in the Bible who struggled with infertility. Some even try to take matters into their own hands to bring about God’s plan in the way they think it should happen, but God always returns to work out his plan in his way, regardless of human effort.
I believe God will answer your prayer, although it may not be in the way that you thought, or in the timeline you believe it should happen in. If there was something I could tell my younger self it would be: “You’re going to get everything you ever wanted, but it’s not going to be when you thought you would get it.”
Maybe you have desired something for so long you’ve given up hope and stopped asking for it. Even so, God remembers when we forget.
References:
- Dennis Pollock, SpiritofGrace.Org, http://www.spiritofgrace.org/articles/nl_2009/when_god_remembers.html